You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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