Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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