Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
