I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
