I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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