I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
