around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
