Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
