Buhtt sex?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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