also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
