i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sext me about skeletons
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