You work out of a Hotel?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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