when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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