That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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