Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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