It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
