these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
