In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
