I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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