I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
