Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
