8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
