dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
