so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How naked do you want me to be?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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