I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
