I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
