Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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