the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
