I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
