Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
