just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
