home. puking in laundry basket.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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