saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
