she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
