Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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