you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
false alarm, still single
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