I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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