i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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