I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
