he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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