so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Say something about gay babies.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
