HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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