Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
