I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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