i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
