Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Randomize
