I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
