My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize