Just fell off a train. Bad.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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