Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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